no questions…i love your theme on strawpage! you seem awesome sauce! hopefully we can be friends! 
HELLO! im here 2 sign ur ata >w< LOVE ur ata sm, so pink... 💜 and peak shading btw... have a nice day/night 
(It appears I will have to continue here to tell my full story, I do apologize for it's length). It was like my usual hikes. You may find it odd, dear bookkeeper, many people do, but I quite like hikes in places with a rarer kind of greenery. The fuzzy kind, soft, reminding me of my favorite childhood blanket...
I can typically find this greenery in the decomposing piles of produce found in a landfill, so that is where I take my hikes. It's an underrated beauty there, I'm afraid. I almost never see any hikers, nor a single soul besides the dastardly men in orange vests (that I have to avoid at all costs, lest they throw me out with an unwarranted aggression and I am serviced another trespassing fee.)
Last week was different however, as during my hike, I spotted a peculiar creature I'd never seen before. Now, ever since I was a small fellow I've loved creatures everywhere, and dedicated my life to helping those beasts of the wild. This situation was no different, and even more, he was munching on one of those coveted produce piles I mentioned.
I thought to myself, he lives in such a beautiful place, but it is so isolated. He must need a friend.
It was quite the task to wrangle him into my car, it took hours of shaking around rotten apples and opening a sour can of tuna, but I finally held my friend safely in my car.
Unfortunately, although he's adjusted well to my home, I've had this issue of him biting through all the legs of my furniture. At first I didn't notice, but one morning when I sat down for breakfast, I realized I was practically on the ground besides the seat cushion.
I went to the living room to find my dear, sorry, friend, rolling around and coughing up bits of wood varnish.
So, as you must see, taking him to the vet is an urgent matter. Perhaps, you can also give me directory to the nearest furnishing store as well.
Thank you for listening to my plight, I will repay you with a signage now.
Hello! 
thank u for the sign first of all! uhh hmmm.... i havent the slightest clue about any vets nearby!
my only suggestion is to absolutely get rid of everything wood in your house
(if this is actually serious you could try wrapping anything it might try to eat in a wrap of some sort, or cover it something distasteful so its discouraged to eat it lol)
My eyelashes are tryna fight my already teary eyes and my github ain't showing gif and images
< WAHHWAHAHHHHHH ]
girl i aint saying NOTHIN nice to u!!! fattie!!!! throws bricks at!!! hvj
anyways just KNOW that i was here ok bye 
-1milion conches there u go 
i just want to say your kirara skin so prettryeyyyy